Feature Communication Articles
- Articles Index
- Become A Brilliant Conversationalist: Using Probing Questions Guide
- Credibility: Knowing The Difference Between "Understanding From The Outside" and Understanding From The Inside
- Finding The Sweetspot Between Overly Positive and Overly Negative
- Communicating With Or Managing The Overly Positive Or Negative Employee
- Are YOU A Social Media Bore? Probably!
- Why Is There So Little Questioning Used In Social Media Conversations?
- When The People Who NEED The Feedback Are The Least Likely To "Hear" It
- Why I Don't Thank People For Leaving Comments On My Social Media Content
- Gallery: Graphic Meditations On Verbal Abuse and Verbal Violence
- When And How Praise Can Be Toxic
- It's Not What You Say. It's What You Do NOT Say That Makes a Huge Difference with Conflict and Communication
- Focus On Communication In The 2016 Presidential Campaign
- Improving Communication Via The "Less Is More" Principle
- NEW Instructional Video: Delivering Bad News And Minimizing Backlash
Communication Topics
- COMMUNICATION HOME
- The Power of Language Tutorials
- Communication General Questions
- Assertive Communication & Listening
- Communication Styles
- Practical Communication Techniques, Tips, and Advice
- Communication That Creates Conflict - Eliminating Firestarters
- Communicating With Groups and Public Speaking
- Non-Verbal and Paraverbal Communication
- Social Media & Technology
- Communication, learning from goofs, gaffs, and oopsies!
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Special Help: Learn To Communicate With Even The Most Upset People and Customers
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Bacal nails it! While more are messing with the entanglements of Customer Satisfaction which leads to no where...he addresses the specifics head on and focuses on the greater picture and ultimate goal of the Customer Experience which leads to Loyalty. Excellent job! (Macy in Oklahoma, 2013)
One of the best things I learned from this book is how to turn a negative experience into a positive one. Using the tools from this gem of a book I have calmed people down, turned bad situations into good, and kept customers who would have otherwise left us and written ten nasty reviews in their wake. It is so empowering to be able to do that, rather than feel awful and abused. This is a must buy, must read for people who work with customers day in and day out. Do it for your own sanity, and to help improve your own job performance and satisfaction! (E. Meehan, California, 2012)
Anyone who serves the public should have this book. It gives advice for everyone from the order taker at the fast food restaurant to higher level management. It also gives different techniques for different situations (ie retail store, office, call center etc.) I have only had this book for a few weeks and already I have improved my customer service skills. It's a wonderful tool. (Lisa S. NJ)
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Your Best Intentions Can CAUSE Hurt Feelings In Communication
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How do we unintentionally invalidate the feelings of another person during conversation?
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When we are arguing or trying to convince or persuade, our concern is not oriented towards the feelings of the other person. So, we may intentionally ignore them. However, in most communication, we want to acknowledge and "validate" the feelings and emotions of the other person, both because it's really the right thing to do, and because doing so has huge practical implications for the conversation. When you invalidate the feelings or experience of the other person, you set up argument or defensiveness, or hurt feelings.
A lot of times, because we are well meaning, we may accidentally negate the other person's feelings, and then end up surprised when the other person gets upset with us.
For example, "inappropriate reassurance" can be problematic in this respect. Let's say you have a friend who is upset about being dumped by his girlfriend. He talks to you about how painful it is, and you pull out: "You'll find someone else."
Which is probably true. It's also true there are "a lot of fish in the sea", and "you'll get over it", and even, "time heals all wounds", but all of those do not validate the poor fellow's feelings NOW. He's not feeling positive NOW. He's not an idiot and knows there's a lot of fish in the sea, but he's not there, yet.
By using these well intended reassurances when the other person is experiencing emotional upset, you end up appearing supportive in one sense (being positive), but non-supportive in the sense of understanding, and demonstrating understanding of the other person's emotional state.