Feature Communication Articles
- Articles Index
- Become A Brilliant Conversationalist: Using Probing Questions Guide
- Credibility: Knowing The Difference Between "Understanding From The Outside" and Understanding From The Inside
- Finding The Sweetspot Between Overly Positive and Overly Negative
- Communicating With Or Managing The Overly Positive Or Negative Employee
- Are YOU A Social Media Bore? Probably!
- Why Is There So Little Questioning Used In Social Media Conversations?
- When The People Who NEED The Feedback Are The Least Likely To "Hear" It
- Why I Don't Thank People For Leaving Comments On My Social Media Content
- Gallery: Graphic Meditations On Verbal Abuse and Verbal Violence
- When And How Praise Can Be Toxic
- It's Not What You Say. It's What You Do NOT Say That Makes a Huge Difference with Conflict and Communication
- Focus On Communication In The 2016 Presidential Campaign
- Improving Communication Via The "Less Is More" Principle
- NEW Instructional Video: Delivering Bad News And Minimizing Backlash
Communication Topics
- COMMUNICATION HOME
- The Power of Language Tutorials
- Communication General Questions
- Assertive Communication & Listening
- Communication Styles
- Practical Communication Techniques, Tips, and Advice
- Communication That Creates Conflict - Eliminating Firestarters
- Communicating With Groups and Public Speaking
- Non-Verbal and Paraverbal Communication
- Social Media & Technology
- Communication, learning from goofs, gaffs, and oopsies!
Relatiionship Killer Crossword Puzzle
Challenge yourself and learn about destructive communication with this unique free puzzle.
Interested in SMALL BUSINESS?
Visit our newly revamped Small Business Resource Center to learn about starting and sustaining a successful small business.Featured - Relationship Rescue!
Special Help: Learn To Communicate With Even The Most Upset People and Customers
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Bacal nails it! While more are messing with the entanglements of Customer Satisfaction which leads to no where...he addresses the specifics head on and focuses on the greater picture and ultimate goal of the Customer Experience which leads to Loyalty. Excellent job! (Macy in Oklahoma, 2013)
One of the best things I learned from this book is how to turn a negative experience into a positive one. Using the tools from this gem of a book I have calmed people down, turned bad situations into good, and kept customers who would have otherwise left us and written ten nasty reviews in their wake. It is so empowering to be able to do that, rather than feel awful and abused. This is a must buy, must read for people who work with customers day in and day out. Do it for your own sanity, and to help improve your own job performance and satisfaction! (E. Meehan, California, 2012)
Anyone who serves the public should have this book. It gives advice for everyone from the order taker at the fast food restaurant to higher level management. It also gives different techniques for different situations (ie retail store, office, call center etc.) I have only had this book for a few weeks and already I have improved my customer service skills. It's a wonderful tool. (Lisa S. NJ)
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Language - Power to Hurt, Power to Exhault
We DO realize the power that language has to help and hinder, because we are all both hurt, and made to feel effective by the words and language others use.
But still, we underestimate the power, and the subtlty of the words and phrases we use. Small changes in wording, for example, can completely change the tone, and therefore the meaning of what we say, and more importantly, the impact of our words on others.
An Example of Word Power
Take a look at the following phrase. Imagine it said out loud:
Why in the world are you staring at me?
How does this question "feel" to you? What would you think the person saying this to you would be trying to get across? Is the speaker of the phrase "happy"?
No, probably not. Most people find this question aggressive in nature, or even a passive-aggressive phrase, and feel attacked. In fact, phrases like this can often stimulate an argument, just from the TONE established by the words. A phrase, or sentence has several "tones". One has to do with the TONE of voice, which you are no doubt familiar with, the technical term being PARAVERBALS. The second tone comes from the actual words chosen and how they are arranged, and that's what we see in this example.
It's almost impossible to utter this question in a way so that the listener doesn't feel attacked, even if you alter the tone.
But what if we change the wording? WIll that work? Indeed.
How about "Why are you staring at me?" Does removing the "in the world" part make it less "in your face"? Yes, at least some.
How about this one: "Why are you paying such close attention to me?" Better, if we replace the word staring, with something else.
Or, "Is there something about me that's catching your attention right now?" Hugely better, in fact, and it can be affected by tone of voice, also, where the other improvements are still less able to be toned in that way.
And it's still a question. It asks the same thing, really. But the TONE OF THE WORDS makes all the difference.
Language is like that. Very small aspects of it change it completely, even in such simple examples.
Our New Communication Tutorial Series For 2012
In the coming months, we're going to be conducting a free online tutorial to help you:
- become more aware of the power and subtlety of the language you use, and that used with you
- become more skilled a modifying the words you use (the tone of phrases) to become less confrontational, and much more supportive sounding and improve all your relationships, whether at home or at work.
Much of the material listed below is based on our most recent book: Imperfect Phrases For Relationships: 101 COMMON Things You Should Never Say To Someone Important To You...And What To Say Instead available in our Communication Learning Tools Store, or via amazon.
Your Power of Words Tutorials
- Intent Vs. Communication Meaning
- The Myth of Constructive Criticism
- Constructive Criticism and Feedback Book Excerpt
- The Power Of Apology, and The Danger Of Fake Apologies
- Verbal Abuse Is Not Always "In Your Face". Sometimes It's Quite Subtle
(more topics coming)