Examples:

· Don’t take it so seriously, it’s no big deal.

· Don’t take it so seriously, it’s only...

Explanation:

We can all benefit by not taking things so seriously, but what are the odds that saying this to someone is going to actually help them “lighten up”, or think more positively? Not much of a chance at all. The person DOES think it’s a serious situation, whether you think so or not. If you try to impose your view of a situation on someone else who has an emotional reaction, you put yourself in the situation of CONTRADICTING the person, albeit in a subtle way.

Telling someone to take something less seriously says: “You are wrong to think this is a serious situation”, even if that’s not what you mean to say. Remember, it’s not about your intentions, but about how the other person perceives your comment.

Make It Better:

If you want to help someone view something from a different, more positive perspective, don’t TELL them to do that. Help them to do it. Here are some examples you can try:

· Let’s see what the worst case scenario is here, and whether it’s that serious.

· Would you like to talk this through? Sometimes having a sounding board can help.

· I can see that you think this is a serious situation.