Examples:

· That’s not true. I saw for myself just yesterday that…

· That’s not true. I read that...

 Explanation:

Telling someone that something they’ve said is “not true” isn’t likely to end in anything but an argument, where one person says, “it’s true”, and the other, “it’s not true”.

Beyond that, while YOU may be convinced that what you saw is absolute proof of something, it’s probably not. We all tend to draw conclusions based on very limited personal experience, and these phrases send the message that you are perfect, and couldn’t possibly be wrong about this particular issue. When faced with this kind of absolute certainty people tend to argue with you, just to puncture what they might see as your intolerance for different views, or your pomposity and certainty.

 Make It Better:

Keep in mind that what you see, believe, or read may not be representative of all possible situations. You could be wrong. You could be partly right and partly wrong. Relationships work better when both people stop trying to win arguments, or prove how smart they are and open the door to learn from each other.

· My understanding is different. Yesterday, I saw...and that leads me to believe it might…

· I’ve read that what you said might be an urban legend. Let me see if I can find the source, and we can look at it together and you can tell me what you think.