Examples and Variations of This Destructive Communication:

· Why should I care…

· Why should I care what other parents do?

· Why should I care why you are late? You’re late, and that’s that.

 Explanation:

If you haven’t yet read the pages about the phrase “I don’t care”, do that now. It’s on page 63. In that section we explain that any phrase that suggests you don’t care, no matter what the context, tends to blot out any positive things you might say.

This also applies to “Why should I care?”.

This phrase, as with a lot of “why” questions feels like an interrogation, and tends to put people on the defensive. Also, this phrase, posed as a question, is often used to make “editorial comments” rather than ask a legitimate question to which you want an answer.

 Make It Better:

If you want to tell someone you don’t see how something is relevant to the discussion, don’t use this phrase. If you are really asking (and want an answer) as to how something  is relevant, here are some better ways to approach the subject:

· Every family is different, so we are going to do things our way, not how Freddy’s parents do things.

· I don’t understand how that’s relevant. Could you explain so I understand?

· I’d like to know why you were so late, because I was so worried.