Imperfect Phrases For Relationships

Examples:

· I’ve told you a hundred times to clean up your room.

· I’ve told you a hundred times that you’re charging too much on the credit cards. We can’t afford it.

 Explanation:

It’s easy to understand why people say this kind of thing. When something is important to you; you mention it, and you feel ignored, you get angry. Or, if your child keeps asking for the same toy, or to watch TV you’ve forbidden, it’s tiresome.

Think about whether you accomplish anything by focusing on the past (told you a hundred times). Do you really believe this approach is going to make a difference, since you haven’t gotten anywhere with similar requests? All it does is make you sound like a nag.

What else does phrase convey? Frustration, certainly. But between the lines, it also suggests that there’s something “wrong” with the person because they haven’t done what you asked.

And, what about the exaggeration to make a point. Have you really counted how many times? Maybe it’s three times. Certainly not exactly one hundred, and people will argue with you just on that basis. Waste of time.

Make It Better:

Stick to the issue. Stick to recent facts

· John, Over the last three days, I’ve asked you to clean up your room, and it’s not done yet. We’re going up to do it NOW.

· Mary, I just looked at the credit card statement, and we can’t afford to pay it. We need to find a solution.