Examples:

· You take everything too seriously.

· You take everything too seriously. Lighten up.

 Explanation:

Giving advice again? Without being asked? Do you find doing so works well? Probably not so well. Even if you are correct in your judgment, it’s still a judgment, and you will be seen as imposing YOUR way on the other person.

As with many phrases beginning with “you”, it may be your intentions are selfish because you are being discomfited or inconvenienced by the other person’s “seriousness”. Or, you may really mean well, and want to help someone who seems to be making him or herself unhappy.

Coupling this phrase with “lighten up”, just makes things worse.

 Make It Better:

If you want to help, phrase things in helpful ways, NOT judgmental ways. Focus on what’s happening for the other person NOW, not the entire pattern of how the person is too serious or not.

· Let’s go for a walk for a bit, and maybe we’ll get a better perspective on this.

· I try to find some humor in these types of situations, since getting wound up just makes me feel miserable.

· It sounds like you are feeling stressed out about this. I think we can handle this together.