Imperfect Phrases For Relationships

 Examples:

· Just forget about it. It’s no big deal.

· Just forget about it. I don’t care.

 Explanation:

This phrase is used in two quite different situations; one where you really mean the topic is not of great concern to you, and the other where it IS a big deal, but you don’t want to argue about it. Your desire to avoid conflict over-rides your concern about the issue.

In the first instance, you realize you are arguing about something that’s just not that important. But the phrasing is poor, because it “sounds” passive-aggressive.

In the second instance, the phrase and the intent are problematic because you are, in effect, being untruthful.

 Make It Better - Saying It More Clearly

If you realize the issue being discussed isn’t important to you, here are some options that portray a positive “giving in” on the issue.

· Thinking about it, it’s not that important to me, so let’s do it the way you suggested.

· It’s OK. If it’s important to you, let’s go with that.

· I can see this is more important for you than for me, so let’s try it your way.

In the second instance, where it IS a big deal, but you are avoiding a fight try these instead:

· Let’s see if we can find a compromise, because this is important to me.

· We both feel strongly about this, I know, so can we find some way that both of us can live with it?