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· Is it “that time of the month”?
· Do you have your period?
· Hormones acting up?
If you ask questions like this in the spirit of understanding or determining what’s going on with your partner, that would be one thing, but that’s not how these phrases are interpreted by most women. As with many imperfect phrases the actual words aren’t offensive, but the underlying meaning IS bound to cause problems.
What do these phrases really mean?
· You’ve been a pain in the *ss all week, so it must be your hormones, since it couldn’t possibly be anything I did.
· Your concern is unimportant because you don’t really mean it...it’s just because you are moody because of your hormones.
Would you say either of these and expect there would be a positive outcome, particularly if your partner is not feeling at her best, for whatever reason? Of course not.
Make It Better:
If you feel your partner is unreasonable about an issue, don’t demean the person by sending the message that you aren’t taking her concern seriously, and that it’s JUST because of her biology. Take the concerns seriously, and try to deal with the stated issue at face value. Take responsibility for any part you may be playing in contributing to the bad mood.
· Hun, I know you’re upset. Maybe it would be better to wait a bit before we talk about it. What do you think?