Examples Of This Relationship Damaging Question

· Why is it always me that has to take out the garbage?

· Why is it always my responsibility to pay the bills?

 Explanation:

Normally, these questions aren’t used to get information. They are used to send the message that you feel you are being taken advantage of, or that responsibilities aren’t being shared equitably. As with many of the imperfect phrases, this one tends to provoke argument because it hides a comment in a question, AND, it uses the word “always”. The issue will be quickly lost as you end up arguing whether “it’s always you”, so you aren’t likely to get much movement if you approach the other person this way.

Also often used to dump responsibility for something on the other person, again, provoking unpleasant arguments.

 Make It Better:

Don’t veil a comment in a question. Be more direct, and you’ll be more likely to get to solutions both of you can live with.

· It seems like we’ve gotten into a routine where I usually do the dishes. I’d like for us to talk about how to share that responsibility.

· I don’t think either of us enjoys being responsible for paying the bills. Maybe we could share that a bit more, so I’m not doing it most times?