Imperfect Phrases For Relationships

101 COMMON Things You Should Never Say TO Someone Important To You...And What To Say Instead

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Robert's books have sold over 300 thousand copies worldwide, and have been translated into Chinese, French, German and Japanese.

He holds a Masters Degree in Applied Psychology, and has taught clinical and counselling psychology at the college level.

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 Children often use words of this kind to pressure parents into giving them permission to do something, just because "everyone does it". Children may not realize the problem. Adults should.Examples:

· Most people do it this way.

· Everyone’s doing it so…

· All my friends do it.

 Explanation - Pressuring:

This kind of phrase is often used by younger people (children and teenagers) when trying to argue with or get permission from a parent. That should tell you that it’s a fairly weak form of argument.

The intent is clear. The person using it believes that if he or she suggests that “it” is normal; that is, everybody does it, it will somehow sway the other person.

It’s a primitive kind of argument. Do you really want to use a phrase that’s identified with children as young as six or seven years old? No.

If you do use it, what’s the usual outcome? Since you probably have no actual evidence about what “most people do”, or whether what others do is even relevant to your situation, you are likely to argue about THOSE points, and not about the actual issue.

 Make It Better:

If you try to convince someone, based on what “most people” do, it’s probably best to bolster your argument with some proof. However, re-evaluate whether you are trying to win an argument, and get your way, or you are interested in finding a solution to an issue that both of you can live with. This phrase, in any form, needs to be deep-sixed.  

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