Examples And Variations Of This Verbal Attack:

· You don’t know what you are talking about.

· You don’t know anything about...

 Explanation:

You will come across situations where you feel someone you are talking with really doesn’t know much, if anything about the topic being discussed. It happens. We probably all expound upon things as if we know a lot about the subject, so keep in mind it’s a common, almost universal failing.

That said, these phrases are offensive, even if they are true. They are far too blunt, and send the message that, at least on this topic, you are better informed. As such, they fall into the “one up, one down” pattern we mentioned  Chapter 3.

Of course, if you use this phrase, it might be YOU that doesn’t know much about the topic, or could be angry, and striking out at the other person. All in all this phrasing is damaging to both people.

 Make It Better:

There is no need to be bluntly insulting, even if you are correct in your conclusion that the other person is not terribly informed about the issue. You can use some of the following, much more gentle ways, to encourage openness and discussion. Who knows, both of you might learn something.

· What you are saying about doesn’t match up with what I’ve read. Could you explain a bit more?

· I don’t think I’m understanding your thinking on this. The way I see it...