Imperfect Phrases For Relationships

101 COMMON Things You Should Never Say TO Someone Important To You...And What To Say Instead

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Robert's books have sold over 300 thousand copies worldwide, and have been translated into Chinese, French, German and Japanese.

He holds a Masters Degree in Applied Psychology, and has taught clinical and counselling psychology at the college level.

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 Want to start conflict in your relationship? The phrase "Never Mind" is a passive-aggressive technqiue that inflames others.Examples of "Never Mind":

· Never mind

· Oh, Never mind, I’ll do it myself.

· Never mind, I don’t want to inconvenience you.


With this phrase much is in the way you say it, and what you say after it. On its own, as in the first example above, the effect is determined by the tone.

If you sound angry or frustrated, it will convey that, but in a passive-aggressive way. There’s no information available to the other person about WHY you are angry, and that’s problematic. It makes resolving the disagreement very difficult.

In the last example, most people would hear the “I don’t want to inconvenience you” part as sarcastic, once again, a passive-aggressive way of dealing with emotion.

 Make It Better:

Passive-aggressive phrases damage relationships because they don’t provide enough information to “work through” the emotional reaction.

If you change your mind about something, and want to tell the other person in a constructive way, try:

· It’s OK. It’s not that important to me.

· It’s OK. I’ll do it when I get a chance.

If you want to talk about your resentment, these are better:

· I find it frustrating when you don’t seem to want to help.

· I’d rather do it myself, if it’s going to be a hassle for you. 

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