Examples:

· Would you get off my back. I’ll do it later.

Explanation:

Why do people say this kind of thing? Why do you say it? It’s because you’re upset, and you feel you are being nagged at. And maybe you are being nagged, but this isn’t the way to handle it.

When you say “Get off my back”, you aren’t saying anything specific enough to be of any use to either of you. You might as well say “F*** off”, for all the positive results it will create.

It’s not a factual statement, but a judgment you are making about the other person. As such you are making an accusation, and the result? You spend time and energy arguing about whether the other person is on your back, or not.

Consider also whether your emotional reaction is as much a result of feeling stupid in your own eyes, because you really haven’t being doing what you agreed to do. If that’s the case, you have no right to take it out on someone you care about.

Make It Better:

· Mary, I know you want me to get it done, but you’ve mentioned it three times in the last two hours (don’t exaggerate for effect), and I promise I’ll get it done by eight o’clock.

 Or take responsibility for both your actions and your reactions:

· Mary, I feel a bit stupid when you remind me to do [the task] so often, and I know I need to get it done, so can we leave it and I’ll finish it tomorrow?