Imperfect Phrases For Relationships

101 COMMON Things You Should Never Say TO Someone Important To You...And What To Say Instead

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Robert's books have sold over 300 thousand copies worldwide, and have been translated into Chinese, French, German and Japanese.

He holds a Masters Degree in Applied Psychology, and has taught clinical and counselling psychology at the college level.

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· Who do you think you are?

· You can’t say that to me. Who do you think you are?

· Who do you think you are, God?


An odd situation where the words used have NO connection to what the speaker means. Has anyone in the history of the world actually asked this question, and expected a real answer? Like, “Oh, I’m Bob?”, or “Gosh, John, I’m your wife”?

This “question” is obviously a criticism, a statement of affront and anger. Everybody knows what it really means, but that won’t stop negative reactions if you use it. Often it’s used to begin a rant about the other person.

 Make It Better:

Take ownership for your anger and stop expressing it in manipulative question formats. Provide information about the reasons you are upset and angry. That shows you want to work at things, not attack people with vacuous and manipulative questions.

· I’m shocked that you would say that to me. I’m really offended so I think we need to talk about it.

· Your remark sounds like you think you can order me to do something. I won’t accept that.

· You aren’t my boss, so you aren’t in a position to tell me what I should be doing right now. I am willing to hear your opinion, though but I’m not talking orders from you. 

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