Imperfect Phrases For Relationships

101 COMMON Things You Should Never Say TO Someone Important To You...And What To Say Instead

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Robert's books have sold over 300 thousand copies worldwide, and have been translated into Chinese, French, German and Japanese.

He holds a Masters Degree in Applied Psychology, and has taught clinical and counselling psychology at the college level.

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· That doesn’t make any sense to me.

· You aren’t making sense.


You might use this as either a way to indicate you don’t understand, OR to indicate disagreement with the other person. Of course, you have a right to disagree, and it will happen that you need more information to understand the other person. However, this phrase isn’t the best to use. It’s not fatal, provided you don’t frequently use it, but there are much better ways to say similar things.

 Make It Better:

If you take responsibility for something not making sense, you shift the conversation from one that feels blaming, to something that feels collaborative and constructive. At minimum, you can do that by adding “to me”, to the end of the phrase:

 · This doesn’t make sense TO ME.

 There are even better ways:

 · I’m not following your thinking on this, so could you help me understand?

· It’s probably me, but what you have said isn’t making sense. Could you explain a bit more?

· I disagree but it’s possible I don’t completely understand what you are saying. Are you saying that...

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