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Examples of Aggressive Questioning That Is Offensive In Relationships:
· Why do you need to know?
· Why should I tell you?
So you feel the other person is interrogating you? Or violating your privacy, somehow? If you are in a casual relationship, you certainly have the right to keep information from the other person, but be aware that you are distancing yourself, and that might have unintended consequences.
If you are in a closer, more permanent relationship, why are you pushing the other person away? You can’t build a relationship, or maintain one over time if you often tell the other person they don’t need to know something about you that they want to know.
Regardless of the type of relationship, the phrasing in our examples will come across as confrontational, insulting, or even hurtful.
Make It Better:
· Mary, I feel uncomfortable sharing some things about my life right now. So, I’d rather not talk about right now.
· John, we’ve only been dating a short time, and those questions are pretty personal. I’m not able to answer them right now, but maybe as things go along….
· I feel funny talking about my finances with you, since we don’t know each other well. Let’s get to know each other in other ways for now, OK?