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· You drink too much.
Talking about alcohol consumption is a difficult and important task. If you care about someone you believe has a drinking problem, you may feel obligated to try to help. If you are frustrated or angry, you may use this phrase, or one similar, and the chances of “getting through” using this phrase are almost zero.
It’s accusatory, and judgmental, and it’s too vague to be of any help. Consider also that problem drinkers are often in denial about their problem, and saying something like this is more likely to cause a nasty argument than be useful for you or the other person.
Make It Better:
Your best bet to get through to someone with a drinking problem is to offer help IF the other person cares to take it. If you are at wits end, and simply can’t deal with a problem drinker, you probably need to lay that out for him or her in an assertive way. Also, never confront someone about problem drinking while they are under the influence of alcohol.
· John, if you get to the point where you feel you want to stop drinking, I’d be glad to do anything I can to help.
· Mary, I know you don’t feel drinking is affecting your life, but if you ever think it’s become a problem, I’d like to help.
· Jess, I’d love to help you stop drinking. However, if you continue to drink every day, I need to stop seeing you [or spending time with you].